


Ghosts

by captainofthefallen



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Dealing With Memories, F/M, also i should probably mention now, and myself too, burial isle, i like to make myself suffer, in some form or another - Freeform, just because i like to make madison suffer, madison made me do it, that pretty much everything i write for them is mutual pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 13:24:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11852487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainofthefallen/pseuds/captainofthefallen
Summary: Little scene focusing on the memory you get when you first go to Burial Isle--the one where you convince Iovara to go to Ossionus. Cross-posted from tumblr.





	Ghosts

They’ve barely taken a dozen steps onto the Burial Isle when she stops in her tracks so suddenly that Aloth runs straight into her and has to grab her by the shoulders to steady her. 

She doesn’t react, but that’s nothing new. It’s become almost routine at this point. The others keep a respectful distance, Edér steps up to one side and Aloth to the other. But this… feels different. Her face isn’t blank, he realizes suddenly. Her face has always been blank when she’s staring into her past, crossed occasionally by flickers or muted emotion, but nothing like this. 

He sees fear. He sees regret. He sees pain. And above all else, he sees _guilt._ And whatever it is that’s causing it is only getting worse as the memory plays out. 

So he watches, his hand hovering inches from resting on her shoulder blade, preparing to provide comfort or support if she needs it. 

Her eyes are as empty as they ever are, when she’s speaking with souls or looking into her past. But even as he watches, they fill with tears, which begin to flow uninhibited down her cheeks. And at last, she breathes a single word, one that means nothing to him but seems to mean everything to her: “Ossionus." 

Her face crumples and her eyes squeeze shut as she disengages from the memory. Her shoulders shake with suppressed sobs. _”Why did you trust me?“_ she demands of a person he can’t see. "I…”

He lays his hand on her shoulder. He doesn’t know what she’s seen, what she’s going through. He can’t know. All he can do is be there. 

He ignores the way his heart stutters when she leans into him, burying her face in his chest and clinging to him in her desperation. This isn’t the time for that. She needs him, and he’ll be damned if he lets his feelings get in the way of helping her. 

After several moments during which there is complete silence but for her slowly subsiding sobs, she pulls back, looking up at him. The others have all retreated still further, even Aloth, to give them some semblance of privacy, and for that he is grateful. It’s easier to talk when they don’t have an audience. 

“I…” she inhales a jagged breath before trying again. “I killed her.” She shakes her head, fresh tears streaking down her face. “No. Worse. I gave her to Thaos. I looked her in the eye and I–” Another serrated breath. “Everywhere I go now, I see them. The torture racks. The iron wheel. The burning stakes. I used to wonder if I had been one of them, but… I did that. To all of them. To _hundreds_ of them. And she… Iovara…” Her tortured gaze meets his, and he wants nothing more right then than to take her in his arms and protect her from all of it. 

But he can’t. They have to push forward, or all this… will be all she ever knows. 

“I _loved_ her,” she breathes, self-loathing evident in every syllable. “And I… I just gave her up. Like it was nothing. Like–" 

"Hey.” He cuts her off, firmly but not sharply. “That isn’t you, you hear? You would never–”

“But how do you _know_ that?” she demands, her eyes filled with a terrifying desperation. “What if I just… snap one day and kill you in your sleep? Or–or Aloth, or Pallegina, or _any_ of you, I–" 

In spite of himself, he smirks. "You’d still need some work before you could get the drop on Pallegina, Nineteen.” He grips her shoulders, his expression turning serious again. “You’ll get through this. We’re almost there. Just hang in there. Please. I don’t think I could stand it if you–” He cuts himself off, sighing deeply. “Everybody’s got a past,” he says finally. “Just ‘cause you know yours, doesn’t make it any more you than Iselmyr is Aloth. Understand?" 

She nods slowly, eyes still wide and shocked, like the memory is still replaying in her head, over and over. 

He squeezes her shoulders. "I’m right here with you. We all are. Just a little longer, we’ll get you what you need. Promise." 

She offers him a small smile. ”…thank you,“ she says timidly. 

He smiles back, moving one of his hands to gently brush the tears from her cheeks. "Anything more I can do, you let me know." 

She nods and pulls away, composing herself before motioning to the others and setting off without a word, Edér right behind her as always.


End file.
